i have 11 (8x8 & 8x10) canvases all lined up on my table. these are all canvases that had something on them in various stages of the next great artistic idea. they were thick with layers of color and mediums, so i lathered on layers gesso & fiber paste in attempts to disguise what once was.
i have big plans, but they stopped at neutralizing what they once were, lol! i think i will spend some time this weekend transforming them into an abstract collection of happiness!!
yesterday i just wanted to create...i didnt care about what i was making or colors i chose, i just wanted to play. i think in opposition to the detailed work of the faces (which i am still in love with doing) i needed a play day to get all "liberal-like" with my paints.
i made these 2 paintings and boy i felt good after! they are totally different in style and sometimes i think, i am one multiple personalitied chick. one all straight lines and clean and the other just down and dirty and pure.
i think this is my most favorite part of what i do...THE FREEDOM!
each day i step to the canvas as a totally new me artistically.
for my 5th attempt at a face i thought go big or go home right? the canvas is 5ft x 4 ft.
i have had this canvas in my studio unfinished for a while (and i really didnt like it) so i thought i couldnt make it worse right? by far my single most powerful artistic moment was when i was done writing the word "fearless" across the bottom. she is not perfect and i love her for it!
i figured i might as well turn the camera on and record my progress. i wasnt recording to teach or to demo, or show any techniques because i am learning myself. i just recorded my progress in real life...belly rolls, back fat, phone calls and conversations with my kids. it is what my real life looks like.
i will list all of the supplies, printouts i used as guides i found on pinterest and colors i used. again i am still learning so take that for what its worth, lol!
from start to finish she took about 8 hours (over 2 days) to complete on the prepainted background. the time-lapse video is about 32 minutes long.
many of you commented on my facebook page the other day, that she looks like me or like an older mckenna...i can see that and i guess subliminally we paint what we love. mckenna loved the idea that it might be her so we braided her hair and she posed for a photo next to her.
cole commented as i was taking pictures after i finished "wow mom, she is better than the Mona Lisa!" gotta love that kid, lol!
the fact that my family is proud of my art and my growth and they share that with me is the most amazing gift in the world.
working in my "MEGA Moleskine" journal, this is my 3rd official attempt at faces. i emailed Dina yesterday to tell her i think she has created a monster. i am in the "I WANT TO LEARN" stage of this...i have that creative energy driving me to do better each time i take the pencil to paper and learn...i love the learning process!
as i was creating her yesterday i was really trying to create mood, a face that emoted...the tilt of the head the sadness and longing of the eyes. my kids looked at her and said, "she looks really sad, why?" i responded by saying, "because mommy is learning"
i struggle with the eyes, i know they are the windows to the soul and i want to make them soulful...so i will keep practicing.
i stopped and took pictures of her along the way, more so that i could document and retrace my steps because i think it is a good learning tool to watch my process and understand what i like and what i would like to change, but i also think it is fun to share that process. each person will interpret it in a different way.
i was really afraid of the hair, but in the end was so thrilled at how she turned out. i referenced Pinterest a couple times and will share those links that helped the most at the end of this post.
then some india ink and words. at this point i feel a bit defeated. i dont like it and i step away for an hour.
so i start to doodle and add the sticker title. I STILL HATE IT!
so i take out the gesso and palette knife and start adding layers of gesso and green gold over the left side of the page. ADD some joint tape and the circular TP tube stamps of pink and a final one over the left eye and i finally found some peace.
i want to practice what Dina taught me and find myself in the process. you may see some more faces in my future maybe event tomorrow for Inspiration wednesday. i have a lot to learn and DINA YOU ROCK for giving me the confidence to believe i COULD DRAW FACES!!!
recently i have been been gifted by so many beautiful and brave woman their stories of how my blog, inspiration wednesdays, art and workshops have had such a positive impact in their life. each sharing with me that watching my imperfect process of creating makes them feel whole and full...inspires them to create or make a change in how they see themselves.
i am humbled.
i am grateful.
i am a better person for this exchange.
ART is a
journey. we all walk our own path and along the way we
evolve, learning more from our failures than we do from our successes
and knowing we have so much to learn from the experiences that enter our
lives. the fact that my art, that every time i turn on that camera to record my process makes a difference, matters so much to me.
in life, i have made mistakes, struggled too long with the scars of childhood, battled the hurtles of adulthood, lost myself in the process and allowed the negative views of others to rent space in my head while the positive ones just slipped away. i think we all bring some of this to the table when we create and learning to free myself from these negative feelings is something i have been working on for the past 4 years. the fact that this personal & creative freedom is slowly making its way into my work and touching others so positively...
illuminates me, yes, that's the word that best describes it... i feel illuminated!
i dont believe in coincidence and know each person along the way on this journey means something and has something to teach me.
as i have come into my 40's i have learned to take ownership of who i am personally, creatively and emotionally. i can now look myself in the mirror and say i truly like who i am. i love sharing my passions for color and art because that is the joy i never allowed myself before holding on to so many of the "issues" of the past not allowing myself the freedom and the purity to live in the moment.
creativity takes courage. that is what inspiration wednesday it all about, having the courage to play. the courage to give yourself permission to fail, the freedom to make mistakes and change your direction and the courage to GROW. its about leaving all the other shit behind and giving yourself an hour or 2 to just be.
the messages i take with me from these woman who have taken the time and had to courage to share their stories with me is that despite how different we might be, our personal struggles, creative hurdles or personal journeys, we are genuinely connected by ART. we may travel down different roads and get lost along the way, but the connections makes a difference, can make us whole again...healing wounds, building confidence, freeing our spirits.
i am grateful everyday for the blessings this journey has given me, for the personal growth and changes i have made along the way and for this platform that extends beyond the reach of just a computer screen and reaches out to touch the human spirit.
every wednesday i practice being strong, stong enough to fail in front of an audience, strong enough to share what i love about creating and strong enough to know i learn more from giving myself wholly on the pages in my journal every wednesday than i would ever gain by taking.
todays post may seem hokey and a bit wordy (ok really wordy for me), but i wanted to share a deep gratitude to all of you that have been a part of shaping who i am today. many of you have travelled this journey with me and some of you are just joining me on this path. if you walk away with anything i hope it is the message that Art transcends.
the message to be open and receptive to life, to see opportunity in the wake of challenge and to live in search of beauty in the human spirit.
P.S. i received thislink this morning just after i had written this blog post...AGAIN reminded how powerful and transcendent art is.
for the past 6 weeks i have looked forward to my tuesday mornings with my friends susan & laura
we have painted, talked about life, sex, coconut oil (don't ask), relationships...we have learned a lot about ourselves, breaking down the walls and painting intuitively.
they embraced the process and created these beautiful pieces.
we decided we did not want the fun to end
susan is a Yogi (teaches Yoga) and we all thought it might be interesting to see how these two processes merged. after talking with susan we both felt that art and yoga build off of the same core principles.
so we now meet early every tuesday morning at the studio for yoga & painting.
i love it!
i am learning a lot from susan about balance and finding that inner voice. then the 3 of us with open hearts paint intuitively and the bonus is i truly enjoy this time with friends...being real and sharing.
this is where we left off this week.
(for more photos of our 1st session progression click here & our current session here)
the whole idea of stretching your body and your creative boundaries is exciting to me. i am a student of life and i love letting the universe take me down paths uncharted and putting amazing people in my path along the way!
about 2 months ago (right after the holidays) bill and i decided that after 12 years of BEIGE walls it was time for a clean new change. Up until this point i never had any of my art hung in our home...i think the beige walls in contrast to my bold use of color really clashed. so we painted the walls in 75% of the house grey. my house is a very open floor plan and if you paint one wall you gotta paint them all. (this may be why it took 12 years to change the color, lol).
NOW there is ART on the walls!
(and yes that is a treadmill, bill hates it in the living room, but it
is the only way i will use it. lets not bring it up, lol)
the living room is open to the kitchen. i created the piece over the sink for this upcoming JUNE Canvas Create. i thought it was big until i hung it...(i already removed it because it is lost in that space.)
the kids and i even started a wall in the upstairs hallway that will be dedicated to their art. i love that they make bill and i art for gifts and i have always wanted a place to display it. they are really proud of themselves and giddy when they create for us, so this way they see it hung between their bedrooms and we can all appreciate the gift.
so much happier with the bold art surrounding my family!